News From Nowhere

By Ethylene

Dear Mr. Nice Guy,

Far too often I have heard my male friends lament that girls don’t want to date nice men, they are only interested in assholes who are going to break their hearts and treat them like dirt. Following this sentiment is the assertion that maybe if my nice guy friend became a jerk he would be able to find a girlfriend as well. I am guessing that my tenderhearted male friends are not the only men who have felt this way. Well I am here to say, “STOP! Don’t do it! We need more nice men in this world, not less! Please, please, please do not change!” I can’t give you an explanation as to why some women have a tendency to date men who are not going to treat them well but I hope by the end of this letter you, Mr. Nice Guy, will feel more appreciated and less despondent.

Once upon a time in the not so distant future I was one of those women who dated men who were, quite frankly, just awful to me. Maybe it was because I lacked confidence or I have daddy issues. I can’t explain it, nor do I care to explore the reasons. I recently was fortunate enough to begin dating someone who is the polar opposite of every man I have ever been in a relationship. Aside from the fact that my new beau is smart and ridiculously handsome, he also shows me the utmost respect, listens to my opinions, (though I get the feeling he disagrees with me more often than he lets on) and he makes me feel beautiful in every situation that I believe the contrary to be true.

Thanks to The Beau I have started to pay more attention to the men in my life. I am discovering that I am an incredibly lucky woman because I am surrounded by some amazing men. I am surrounded by men who can make me laugh, who would hold me if I was crying, defend my honor, flatter me, gently deflate my ego on the rare occasion it gets out of control, and most importantly respect women regardless of who they are.

So if you are one of those men to me or to any other woman I want to extend my deepest gratitude to you. If you are a man who doesn’t expect the women in your life to look like Victoria Secret models, if you expect your woman to have a mind of her own instead of being subservient to your every thought and whim, then I say thank you! If you know that the women you love aren’t perfect and from time to time are a little crazy and yet you love them for those imperfections instead of in spite of them, kudos! Thank you for not assuming that just because you buy a woman flowers or you open the door for them that you are a nice guy. For going above and beyond and making us feel as if we have value and making us feel loved, I award you one hundred gold stars. A hundred thousand times thank you for making us laugh, for picking up the pieces of our broken hearts when Mr. Terrible comes along. In all I am extending one huge expression of gratitude from women everywhere just for being Mr. Nice Guy.

I know being the nice guy doesn’t seem like much when you are feeling lonely or discouraged but I can promise that somewhere there is a girl who appreciates you because you are who you are. I can almost feel some of you doubting this. If you are one of those doubters then you need to reread my little letter because I appreciate you. Yes, without knowing who you are I appreciate you and I would even give you a hug if I could. So once again, thank you Mr. Nice Guy simply for existing as you do and, at the risk of over inflating his ego, thank you to The Beau for helping to see that I am beautiful and of value at all times. Finally this is a call to Mr. Terrible to reform and aspire to be more like Mr. Nice Guy, we women have had enough of you and will not miss you at all.

Cheers and all my praise,

Ethylene